RSSIt took a slap
Mar 09
It took a slap for me to learn.
Did I get recently slapped? Well physically no, but mentally, emotionally, and I guess you can say spiritually.
I’m a person who is afraid to make mistakes. I guess growing up in a typical Chinese family where the mother was praised for enforcing a form of punishment on the child thus associating mistakes with fear.
However that did not change my bad habit of making mistakes secretly. I constantly made mistakes to feed my weaknesses.
Like any weak, unsure, and random direction, I decided to stop feeding my weaknesses. It worked out for sometime until I caved in under all the pressure.
Then just as I thought I could get away with it, I got a slap.. One of the hardest slaps I’ve ever gotten in my entire life.
Then just like that, it woke me. I got off from the ground, looked into a real mirror and I cringed.
“Is that me? What have I done? What have I become?”
Thoughts started racing my head and I got dizzy with confusion and regret. Thankfully this whole learning process won’t have me dwelling in regret and self pity in the whole process.
I took a walk to the basin, washed my face, washed my eyes (yes they need washing) and looked again.
“There’s a progress.. You don’t look like shit anymore, maybe in due time you can look more human..”
(What is it with me and talking to myself?)
So here I am, making that struggling journey to stay awake the whole road through..
So to quote St. Jose Maria Escriva
“To begin is for everyone, to persevere is for saints.“