Mar 27
The PhotobloggerEpiphanies
Mark this day as the day you faltered.
Remember how you let your weakness get the better of you.
Remember how it felt.
Remember how it weakened you.
Remember how much regret it weighed on you.
But most importantly, remember how it wasn’t worth it.
IT WAS NOT WORTH IT.
Now your first great fall in battle, but let that be your learning way towards Victory in War.
Taste the ground, and remember just how bad it tastes so that you will always stay standing.
Mar 09
The PhotobloggerEpiphanies
It took a slap for me to learn.
Did I get recently slapped? Well physically no, but mentally, emotionally, and I guess you can say spiritually.
I’m a person who is afraid to make mistakes. I guess growing up in a typical Chinese family where the mother was praised for enforcing a form of punishment on the child thus associating mistakes with fear.
However that did not change my bad habit of making mistakes secretly. I constantly made mistakes to feed my weaknesses.
Like any weak, unsure, and random direction, I decided to stop feeding my weaknesses. It worked out for sometime until I caved in under all the pressure.
Then just as I thought I could get away with it, I got a slap.. One of the hardest slaps I’ve ever gotten in my entire life.
Then just like that, it woke me. I got off from the ground, looked into a real mirror and I cringed.
“Is that me? What have I done? What have I become?”
Thoughts started racing my head and I got dizzy with confusion and regret. Thankfully this whole learning process won’t have me dwelling in regret and self pity in the whole process.
I took a walk to the basin, washed my face, washed my eyes (yes they need washing) and looked again.
“There’s a progress.. You don’t look like shit anymore, maybe in due time you can look more human..”
(What is it with me and talking to myself?)
So here I am, making that struggling journey to stay awake the whole road through..
So to quote St. Jose Maria Escriva
“To begin is for everyone, to persevere is for saints.“
Feb 27
The PhotobloggerEpiphanies
I have a good number of fears in my life but I have but one fear that no psychological rehabilitation can fix. I fear death.
Even scarier than physical death, is spiritual death.
One assurance as a Catholic, in the daily sufferings in this physical world is the promise of eternal peace. That eternal peace which no mortal can describe is such that I seek with faith and yet I cannot fully explain it myself. Without this assurance, life for me becomes a meaningless search for the satisfaction of my physical desires of material goods and other earthly desires which are as good as the flames of a burning forest: Strong, intense and unquenchable.
In our religion class we were taught of the two kinds of evil. One was where manifestations of evil were obvious and downright despised, such as the demonic possessions, supernatural occurrences, and even truly evil acts such as murder, hatred and the like.
The other kind of evil which most of us disregard as nothing, is the evil that we cannot see. I fear that this evil has taken over. This evil is so subtle it takes over me without even me knowing it.
I have let my obsession for material goods and self-esteem feeding take over and let my pride cover my face and impatience take hold of my shoulder.
What happened to selflessness, charity, benevolence, and cheerfulness? Is it really worth giving up these values to make way for these unnoticed possessions in my spirit?
I fear that I have forgotten these values and I may as well be on my way to spiritual death.
Lord, restless is my heart till it rests in you. I have come to you as sinner in need of a healer, as a sick man in need of a doctor, as a troubled child in need of a family, and as a lost man in need of a pathway. Hear me, heal me, save me.
Nov 09
The PhotobloggerEpiphanies
As I hold my breath, I approach the figure at the window and look straight at the eyes.
Vile, disgusting, and beyond repair. Just look at that damage skin and disheveled hair. Even a mother cannot love a face such as that!
Horrendous! Incomprehensible! Who let that person out?! Is IT even human? Somebody please cloak him!
I stare down at him and look back at his face…
How pathetic. Such a waste of space in this universe! How can anyone even dare to tread on the very grounds of humanity? Somebody please take him away..
But even so as I think these thoughts, I see his pitiful face full of insecurities, pain and regret. He raises his eyes while facing the ground and then heaves a deep sigh just the same way I did. He also stared at me whilst I stared back at him.
Did he mock me? Why must I even hurt my eyes staring at him? I have better things to do than to waste my precious time with this complete mockery..
Just when I turn to the right I notice a rough edge of the window. Then I trace the lines of the edges and see light bounce just shy of the edges of the window. After stepping back and taking a good look at the window frame, I come to a horrible realization:
I was looking through a mirror.
Imagine what silver can do to a glass.
I decided to look away and saw at the far end of a room: a bright opening with smooth sound of the open sea breeze with the salty smell of sea water calling out to me. I take just one look at the pitiful figure and from the corner of his mouth, I was so sure I saw a smile before he too took off for the real window.
May 30
The PhotobloggerEpiphanies sudden epiphanies
I’ve been blogging for more than a year now but for some reason I felt like I haven’t reached a point of satisfaction. It felt like I can’t say I’m successful in blogging yet. There just seemed to be that missing part.
After going over blog after blog, from newbies to pros, from nobodies to influential bloggers; I came to a realization that I’ve been missing a very very important part of my blog. Branding.
So what’s with this branding? Why is it so important? More
RSS